A quiet update on where I’ve been and where life has taken me

I Stopped Everything to See What Would Come Back

It’s been a while since my last blog, and as many of you know, I disappeared from everything.

I just wanted to share with you where I’m at now — what’s going on in my mind and in my life.

Interestingly enough, one of my most recent blog posts was “Do I Want to Do It All? Can I Do It All?” In that post I said yes — I did want to do it all.

Now, looking back, I can see that I got caught up in momentum and never paused to really feel what I truly wanted to do.

So that’s what I’ve done now.

I took some time for myself where I just dropped everything.

I dropped everything and waited to see what would naturally come back.

What Stayed

One thing that never left was my art.

I’ve never stopped making art, and it’s still a great passion of mine and part of my everyday life. I hope it stays that way.

But I’ve realised quite a few things during this time.

The first is that I enjoy making art a lot more than I enjoy making videos.

I’m also really enjoying my privacy — keeping my life to myself and simply enjoying each moment without thinking about filming it or turning it into content.

Just Abby and I enjoying our life.

Slowing Down

I’ve slowed down a lot.

I haven’t been travelling. I’ve been sitting in one place, and my days are filled with simple things: beautiful walks in the morning and evening, returning to a consistent workout routine, rebuilding my strength, and adding more muscle.

Art is part of my day.

I’m still working part time.

I even started crocheting in the evenings.

What Came Back

Interestingly enough, one of the things that really wanted to come back was writing.

I had stopped writing in my journal for a while, but that naturally returned. I wanted to express myself again through the written word.

I also really enjoy the physical act of writing by hand in a journal.

In the past I would set a specific time of day to write. Now I’m letting it evolve organically.

When I feel like writing, I write.

I even wrote a few limericks, which I really enjoyed. I might write more.

They were just so much fun — you can be silly and ridiculous and not take yourself too seriously.

Mostly, though, I’m just enjoying the peace.

Real peace.

And, selfishly, only having to think about myself.

It’s been really nice.

About the Videos

I’ll be honest with you — I’m not sure if I’m going to go back to making videos.

At the moment, I don’t want to.

I’m not completely sure why yet. I’m sitting with the feeling and paying attention to how my body reacts when I think about making videos.

But right now the answer is no.

I don’t think it’s really about the videos themselves.

I think it’s more about the publicness of it — putting your life out there for everyone.

I’m not sure I want to do that anymore.

But I do still feel like I want to write the blog, which is why hopefully you’re reading this now.

I still want to share with you.

I just feel more drawn to sharing through the written word rather than through video.

The Newsletter

I’d also like to pick up the newsletter again as a way to stay connected with people.

We’ll see how that evolves.

For now, I’m starting slowly with the blog and seeing how that feels.

Later I may begin sending newsletters again — perhaps in a different format — sharing what I’m doing, the art I’m making, and bits of life along the way.

Life Now

The biggest thing is that I’ve really slowed down and taken time to see how I want to live going forward.

The person who moved into this van five and a half years ago doesn’t really exist anymore.

Back then I packed up my life and moved into a van.

But that life was very different from the one I’m living now.

The things that bring me joy today are much simpler, and I want to protect that.

I don’t want to get caught up again in hustle, chasing money, or constantly producing content.

At some point it started taking away from my life.

And I had to stop.

Where I Am Now

So that’s where I’m at.

You may understand, or you may not.

Either way, I’ve let go of needing to control that.

I can’t control how you feel or how you react.

I can only share what’s going on with me.

I know some people might be disappointed if I don’t return to making videos.

I understand that.

But I have to do what feels right for me.

And to be clear — I haven’t made a final decision.

Maybe I will return to video one day.

Maybe I won’t.

Right now, though, the answer is still no.

But you might see a newsletter from me sometime soon.

You never know.

Thank You

Before I finish, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has sent messages checking that I’m okay.

I’m actually better than okay.

I feel like I’m in one of the best places I’ve ever been in my life.

Everything feels like it’s coming together in a really natural way, and I’m genuinely happy.

Life is good.

So why rock the boat?